We talked with @abruxapreta owner of one of the most baphos coals of the insta feed, and spoke to us about mysticism, spirituality, tarot, balance and self-care
Granddaughter of witches who couldn’t burn! Wait, is it meme or real? Anyone who believes in witchcraft and consumes related content has most likely already bumped into Pam’s profile. She chatted with us and among other things, taught us that our best version can also be the worst and everything is fine. Seriously, it’s okay. (It’s not meme!!!!)
Our conversation with Pam was just like the tide, with ripples when you have to have it. Inspiring woman, she talked about personal development, religion, spirituality, mysticism and wellness. Enough maix!
“Pam is cyclical, she’s several”
Pam is a peripheral, black woman who is there in this very crazy process of personal, mental development and who understood that life is full of processes and oscillates.
I understand that there are these oscillations with me, with whom I am. So I’d say I’m this cyclical person, Pam’s cyclical, she’s several.
I’m a little witch on social media, but also daughter, big sister. I see myself as someone who accepts reality, but I question and reflect a lot on it.
Aquarian with the pound ascendant, there’s a lot of air on that map for the mystics there. I’m always in the mental world, trying to get down a little bit into matter and live within it, within what life proposes to me. Because I’m no longer in a position to control anything. I believe that’s me.
“Imbalance at certain times is also necessary”
I accepted the imbalance in my life. I’ve always understood balance as one thing or another. When we begin to develop our spirituality, we understand that things are not so simple. There’s a lot of complexity there. The imbalance at certain times is also necessary for me to impose and raise my voice, write the texts I put there on social networks.
“As ripples and oscillations of water, which are also very turbulent and hurt if necessary”
There is also an imposition of society than is expected of a woman, than is expected of a black woman: Do not speak, not say what you think, even more in social networks, which has a lot of judgment, has the idealization of who you are. There’s the picture. ‘Oh, that’s it.’ There is a stereotype as to what black woman is like: brave, fierce. And yes, I have it, but I demonstrate softly. Because understanding balance and aggression or what it is to be a beast is not always assertive. My way of now is very fluid. Like ripples and water oscillations, they are also very turbulent and hurt if necessary. I’m quiet when I have to be, but if I need to talk I’ll tell you what has to be said.
“I speak truths and still speak softly”
I like the author Bell Hooks very much and she speaks of this issue of love as a cure, as a treatment. Not idealizing, but we are taught self-hatred. Even the way we communicate with others. I think it’s this surprise, I speak truths and I still speak softly.
“Spirituality has a great deal of liberation”
My family is a non-practicing Catholic. There is a whole thing of distancing itself from Afro-Brazilian culture and religion. Because it is demonized, there is still intolerance, religious racism. I studied eight years in Catholic high school and had that teenage rebellion thing. I came to adulthood was brought to spirituality. Which has something to do with religion if you want it to have it. But it’s not the same. Spirituality has more to do with autonomy and has a great deal of liberation. When you see spirituality beyond religion, those dogmas of absolute truth are liberating.
“We were closet wizards”
I was connecting with that spirituality that came through witchcraft. That’s seventeen, eighteen. I comment with my friends that we were closet wizards. Everybody’s out of the closet for a while. And we go practicing and seeing that nature, the power of it is much greater.
I have understood my spirituality through my perspective, which is also peripheral. Here this theme does not come easy, you have to jump, and I gave mine. I had access to the tarot which also went to one of the gateways to that path. When you walk into this cave, it’s over. Just sit down, just go!
I’ve had a lot of very intense healing processes. I lived between ‘ok to like this’, and ‘you’re showing me some truths that I don’t feel like facing.’ And then I’ll stop. There are a lot of people who talk to me and say ‘I want to give up’. And it does happen, I’m not here to judge, no. I sometimes have this perception of ‘ai tired, it’s too much to …
“Feel your spirituality, do not alienate yourself”
I have always been an urban witch, I live in São Paulo. And for people the stereotype of the witch is in the forest, spinning and taking care of nature. I love it, but here my perspective is another, I work in an advertising agency. I’ve never had a problem with being this urban thing either, the broken one, the agent can fix it.
Within that I’ve been building my space, which works for me. I met umbanda, and I’d say it was a call of ancestry. The first time I had contact with religion I felt very embraced, because we have the need to belong. I felt part of something very beautiful, much bigger.
And even though I have my religion, I have my spirituality and I know that the two of them embrace and work there, but I don’t like to put religion as a determinant. I always tell the crowd ‘feel your spirituality, don’t alienate yourself’.
“There will always be those who say, ‘She just lights up on the full moon and dances'”
There were times when I was asked what I was looking for as work. The way I position myself. Think, all my life I’ve been showing myself a Catholic high school student. Then all of a sudden I break up with it, people start talking.
On social networks this challenge comes in two ways: Both from people who identify and say, ‘Damn, at last someone who’s really saying what I wanted to say.’ As for the people who say , “Oh there, it just lights up on the full moon and dances.”
But I have noticed that the drive has been smoother. The thing has rolled and fluid better. Haters will always show up, people to say ‘internet witch’. I don’t care about these questions anymore.
“For 2020 the word is challenging, a painful process”
It’s very crazy because when the pandemic started I’ve already got into a conflict that now no one else will want to do readings or work that side of self-knowledge. I was surprised by the amount of people who came asking, wanting to access this universe. If you know and understand what was going on, since now I was spending more time with you.
The pandemic brought this moment of putz, ‘now I’m dealing with me, I’m having to see things that I did not know and do not like so much’. It was coming many people, I see for the girls that I follow from the area and they talk about this movement that actually happened.
I believe that for 2020 the word is a challenge, a painful process. Fuck, but I’m optimistic, facing realities. From the moment we look at each other, we can move better. There is a learning that has come to me: “it is time to mature and better understand the structures that surround your life.” Be governmental, your relationship with your friends. Mature that. It grows!’ I was forced to growing up and I’m grateful for being, otherwise Id be in Alice in an Wonderland position.
“Sometimes a small gesture moves a huge structure and we don’t even know”
I expect more disappointments, in the sense that we grow up and make us mature. I also hope that we can get rid of everything that has been conditioned on us. All limiting and patriarchal beliefs.
That we don’t have to wait for each other to do, sometimes a small gesture moves a huge structure and we don’t even know it. And for Pamela, I hope she continues this self-knowledge work with many therapies, all of them, both with my psychologist and with my holistic friends. That we can speak more, raise our voices, because we need to be heard at a time like this we need to break free.
“My self-care is me taking in”
For me there is no self-care without looking at my mental health. I’m a person who has acne skin, so he has self-care with that aspect, but it also speaks to my inner. It’s no use me taking care of my skin, passing all kinds of cream and not taking care of my mental health, the thing will still remain there.
I can’t do a self-care job when I’m not feeling well with myself. My ritual is to sleep well, for me this is very important. My greatest self-care of all is bath time, that’s so essential. That’s when I take the opportunity to do meditations, prayers, imagine all the water there purifying.
I lie in my bed, pass my moisturizing cream and allow myself to rest, watch my silly series. I like that feeling of welcome, for me my self-care is to welcome me. Even in my work I find a way to put some music that touches me, that my mind can flow because I have a very agitated mind.
Pam’s everything, right? Here at Nowdays People you can find more conversations like this. At Basics you’ll find content on alternative methods of wellness, a true encyclopedia about our beloved plant at the Cannabis A to Z. And also news and legislative issues in the Reality Check. If there’s a breeze there, take a walk on the platform, make yourself at home. And if you want, tell us what you found through our networks @nnowdays.